So, you’ve moved to a new city. The boxes are (mostly) unpacked, you’ve figured out where the best grocery store is, and now comes the hardest part: making friends.
Because as thrilling as solo couch hangs and talking to your plants are, humans are wired for connection—even if your social battery has a short fuse.
In his newsletter, Calvin Rosser writes:
“It’s important to go hard from the start because your first few months in a place often set the tone for the remainder of your time there.”
His advice? Don’t be a hermit. Yes, settle in—but don’t wait too long to get out there and start building your circle. The longer you stay in solo mode, the easier it is to slip into inertia and suddenly realize you’ve become way too comfortable alone.
So here it is. Your not-too-cringey, actually-doable guide to making real-life friends in a new city… without feeling like you’re awkwardly asking someone to sit with you at lunch.
1. Have Hobbies. Seriously.
Hobbies are your secret weapon. When a bunch of Redditors were asked for their surefire way to make friends in a new city, the top answer—by a landslide—was: have hobbies.
As one Redditor put it:
“Having hobbies is pretty much a ‘get a friend free’ card wherever you go.
The beauty of it? It works whether your hobby is super popular or delightfully niche. If you’re into something big—like running—awesome, you’ve got a whole crowd to meet. If you’re into something rare—say, Japanese calligraphy—those two other people who love it will be thrilled to welcome a third.”
Even apps are catching on. Ido Cohen, co-founder of Hobiz, a hobby-based social app planning to launch in the U.S., says some of the most popular activities on their platform are board games like Catan and escape rooms:
“These kinds of hobbies naturally bring strangers together around a shared passion. You don’t have to know anyone beforehand—you just show up and connect through the activity.”
Whether you’re into running marathons or painting tiny Warhammer figurines, hobbies create built-in opportunities to meet people who are into the same (possibly weird but wonderful) things as you.
Pro tip: Join a Meetup group, local class, or even Reddit community in your city. You’d be surprised how many people are just waiting for someone to say “hey.” And if you can’t find your niche or group? Create one!
2. Become a Regular Somewhere
Coffee shop, bookstore, dog park, farmer’s market—pick a place and go there often.
In big cities, you don’t bump into the same people by accident. You have to create those accidental meet-cutes. (It sounds a bit like Joe Goldbergy, though, but trust us!) Being a regular somewhere makes you recognizable and approachable.
That barista who knows your name? The neighbor who sees you walking your dog every morning? That’s the beginning of social glue. Eventually, a “hey” turns into a conversation, and voilà—you’re no longer a stranger in your own neighborhood.
3. Join a Gym, Run Club, Yoga, Book Club or Workshop
You won’t make friends binging Netflix alone in your apartment (as comforting as that is). In your free time, get out there and join a space where you can actually interact with people—and maybe even learn something cool while you’re at it.
Gyms, yoga studios, run clubs, Pickleball, fitness classes, or a Zog sports activity, are a great places to meet people. If you’re not sure where to start or don’t want to commit to just one spot, try ClassPass — it gives you access to tons of studios and classes around your city. You can test out everything from boxing to barre (and maybe make a new friend in between squats).
If fitness isn’t your thing then try book clubs, language classes, pottery workshops, painting nights—you name it. Cities are teeming with ways to get involved. And you don’t have to be an expert. Showing up is 90% of it. So go ahead, sign up, show up, and most importantly: engage, engage, engage!
“I once joined a book club purely to meet people, and three months later I still hadn’t finished a single book—but I’d made two new friends and got invited to a game night. Worth it.”
Whether you leave with a new skill, a new friend, or just a fun story—you win.
4. Pay More to Live in Central Areas (It’s Worth It—At Least at First)
Some things just come with a price tag—unfortunately, location is one of them. But if you’re serious about making friends and finding your place in a new city, living in or near central areas can make a huge difference.
Why? Being close to cafes, bars, transit, events, and spontaneous hangouts—gives you more chances to say “yes” to plans, bump into familiar faces, and actually feel like part of the community. You’re not stuck planning an entire expedition just to grab a drink after work.
Sure, you can move further out once you’ve found your groove and built your circle. But in the beginning, convenience = connection.
As Calvin Rosser puts it:
“Remember, how you start is how you finish. So living in the center of things makes it easier to start well and finish well.”
Translation: Give yourself a head start. Your future social life will thank you
5. Volunteer Your Time (and Good Vibes)
Volunteering is a goldmine for meeting kind-hearted people—and it’s one of the few social activities where everyone’s default setting is “wholesome.”
Whether you’re helping at a food bank, an animal shelter, or a community garden, you’ll naturally bond with others over a shared sense of purpose. Plus, nothing bonds people faster than doing good and getting a little dirty.
6. Get to Know Your Neighbors (Yes, Really)
Go full vintage and introduce yourself to your neighbors. You don’t have to bake a pie or anything. A simple “Hi, I’m new!” goes a long way.
Drop off a small token—a basket of garden veggies, a homemade cookie, or just offer to carry in their groceries. Ask them where the best takeout is or invite them for tea. Most neighbors are not serial killers; many are closer to the ones from Home Alone—friendly, nosey, and probably full of good advice.
7. Go to Church (If That’s Your Thing)
If you’re religious or spiritual, local places of worship can be a great way to meet like-minded folks. It’s a built-in community, and more often than not, they have social events, study groups, or just people who genuinely want to talk to you.
8. Ask for a Friendship Setup
Yes, like a blind date—but platonically. If your college friend says, “Hey, I know someone in your new city,” follow up. Meet them for lunch, say yes to the party invite, go to the game night. You’re not marrying them—just meeting them.
Sometimes the best friendships start with a slightly awkward introduction over pizza.
9. Join Community Groups (Yes, Even the Ones on Facebook)
Using social media to plug into local communities is a no-brainer—especially if you’re not the “walk up and talk to strangers” type. Facebook groups, neighborhood forums, and local Reddit threads are great for tracking events, meetups, and even last-minute hangouts happening around you.
And for the introverts and socially-anxious among us: online apps, like Bumble BFF, are basically the holy grail. You can scope out your scene, find like-minded people, and strike up conversations without the pressure of face-to-face awkwardness.
Because let’s be honest: it’s way easier to bond over a shared meme than small talk about the weather.
Pro tip: If you are looking for roommates on Diggz, and found someone you vibed with but it didn’t work as roommates, don’t put them in the “recycle bin” just yet. Many Diggz members have made friends even before their move date. Connect offline and stay in touch.
10. Be More Likable (Without Being Fake)
Okay, this sounds a little rude, but hear us out: don’t lead with your most controversial hot takes. Maybe save your spicy opinions on politics, religion, or pineapple on pizza for date #5 of friendship.
In the beginning, aim to be open, warm, and a bit agreeable. That doesn’t mean being a doormat—it just means giving people the space to get to know you without jumping into a debate.
11. Don’t Ghost Your Old Friends
New city, new you? Maybe. But keep your old friends on speed dial. Just because you’re in a new zip code doesn’t mean you need a total personality rebrand.
Your old friends can keep you grounded, support you on lonely days, and—who knows—might even introduce you to new people in your new town.
Friendships need maintenance, whether you’re five blocks away or 500 miles apart. So don’t forget to call, text, send memes, or plan a visit.
12. And Then We Have….Roommates!
And now, the most obvious one: roommates.
Finding friends in your roommates is hands-down one of the easiest ways to feel less alone in a new city. Odds are, you’ll be hunting for a place to live before you arrive—so why not choose a spot with roommates instead of flying solo?
They can help you get your bearings, show you the local spots, and maybe even loop you into their social circles. Built-in city guides and potential BFFs? Yes, please.
Roommates often end up being your first real friends in a new place—and if even one sticks, you’ve got a buddy to explore the city with, complain about the rent with, and tour endless apartments with when it’s time to move again.
Honestly? A good roommate is half therapist, half partner-in-crime, and 100% your shortcut to not feeling like the new kid.
Quick tip: Finding good roommates is half the battle. With our Diggz platform, you can find people who share your lifestyle and probably won’t steal your almond milk. And uniquely to Diggz, on every profile you’ll find the BFF meter, seeing which roommates want you for your company, and which maybe just for your rent check.
Conclusion: Say YES to Everything
If there’s one golden rule to making friends in a new city, it’s this: say YES.
Yes to that random workshop. Yes to the block party with questionable snacks. Yes to every invite, event, game night, or “hey, want to come with?” that lands in your lap. You never know which “yes” leads to your next great friendship—or at the very least, a free slice of pizza.
Jules, who’s made multiple cross-country moves, shares some of her favorite friendship-building rules:
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- Say yes to everything.
- Go to a ton of community events.
- Remember, not everyone has to be your best friend—just accept people as they are.
- And above all, be the kind of friend to others you yourself want to be around.
Friendships don’t usually fall into your lap. But if you show up, stay open, and keep saying “yes,” you’ll find your people sooner than you think.
And of course, finding friends takes time—but finding a roommate? That’s step one.