Last Updated on 11/12/2024 by Rany Burstein
One of the most important elements of personal wellness is maintaining a happy, healthy home life. The environment you go to bed in and wake up to sets the tone for your entire day, and when all else in life is going wrong, having a comfortable environment to come home to can keep a bad day from becoming a bad week. If you share an apartment with a roommate, peace at home can sometimes be harder to achieve, especially if it’s a typically cramped New York City apartment. Whether your roommate is a longtime friend or a someone you met on our very own Diggz, and even if your schedules keep you from crossing paths very often, cultivating a solid co-living partnership from move-in onward is perhaps the most crucial factor in ensuring your residence feels like a sanctuary, not a cell.
To immediately set the tone of your relationship, a little upfront generosity goes a long way. It sounds cliché, but you only have one chance to make a first impression! When move-in day arrives, bring a small gift, either for them specifically or for mutual use in the apartment — perhaps something you could both use that the apartment is missing, like a new coffee maker, water filter pitcher, blender or some house plants. Another option is firing up the laptop, mutually choosing some small décor, then offering to cover the cost. Cooperatively creating a home aesthetic that reflects both of your tastes can be an entertaining and effective way to bond, while ensuring you both feel at home.
Once the boxes are unloaded, it’s vital to get a hangout scheduled with your new roommate. An immediate invitation may feel a bit forceful, but try to link up within the first few week or two. Before your hangout, do some social media scouting to learn about your roommate’s interests and find common ground for discussion. When you do get together, try to ask questions and listen more than talk, and always avoid going straight to the house rules and chores chat. Instead, get to know them first, establish a rapport, and see where the conversation leads. Try discussing old roommates and living situations. You can bond and relate this way, while also indirectly discovering some of their do’s and don’ts for roommates.
Getting together outside of the apartment is the best bet, as a neutral territory allows you to both let down your guard. Plus, having some action around can come in handy if the getting-to-know-you conversation happens to stall. An all-out night on the town isn’t recommended, but a drink or two always makes breaking the ice that much easier. And if you get the chance, buy the first round. Pick a restaurant or bar with actual seating and an atmosphere conducive to conversation. Concerts and clubs are fun, but you’ll end the night not having learned a thing about each other. Maybe try and find a local spot, as you’ll get to learn about them and the neighborhood at the same time. Or, take them to a favorite spot of yours, which can ease tensions if you’re feeling nervous.
Should your roommate be more of a homebody, pick a night to cook dinner for the both of you and include a bottle of wine or some craft beer. If your schedules are both pressed and a TV hangout is the best you can manage, at least make it a sporting event or a show that allows for interaction. A movie or a drama series doesn’t leave much room for conversation, lest you both lose the plot. From there, look to slowly expand the depth of your social relationship. When your roommate has friends over, try to enter the conversation, and when the opportunity arises, invite them to meet any likeminded friends of yours. With a hangout on the calendar and some bonding underway, you and your new roommate are both ready for the ever-enjoyable household rules and chores discussion!